Blah, preparing to fail definitions for computing test tomorrow >.>

*looks at post below*

Seems like I still can't remove this invisible barrier around me.

Can't remember who was the one who said that I'll be making a long post after today. Unfortunately, this is going to be quite short.

I can't remember the exact phrasing - but the quote goes something like Life is too short for you to have two of them. Well yeah, I'm kind of bored with this facade. This should be relevant to quite a lot of my current "readers" - Sorry to disappoint, but the Woon Yang you know of, never existed.

Or maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and forget all about this >.>

I'm surprised with myself today. Stayed awake and PAID ATTENTION during all lectures(yes, I'm surprised too), went for self training during my break and Wushu after school. Yes, and this is despite someone keeping me awake 45min more than I wanted to *hem hem*

Had a realisation during self-training today. The purpose of me training is mainly to improve myself. Yes - the prospect of getting that gold medal is alluring, but no - I don't want to burden the team. I'm the weakest link in the team, but as I've told forgot-who, my standard now is at the bottom of the graph. So there's no room for deterioration, only improvement. So despite not wearing spikes and having a training partner, what I did today can only make me improve. "The only thing which cannot fail you is diligence." - Not sure where I heard it from, or whether I thought it out myself >.>

But basically, all trainings are the same, isn't it? The true objective is to improve oneself - winning trophies and medals are only bonuses. But anyway, the above paragraph is actually for self-inspiration =P

------------------------------------------------------------

Everyday seems to pass slowly, but looking back, it's already the 6th week of the term. Kinda makes you think, "What have I been doing all this time?" Well, this feeling comes once in a while, so I guess today is that once. I guess achievements don't come in an instant, but still =\ Ironically, despite aiming for that H3 distinction, Wushu medal, CSM medal, I still don't know what I really want. There's something intangible out there that I want to achieve, but I still have no idea what it is >.>

Table tennis finals today. Didn't know that JC table tennis so pro =X Quite sian at some parts, but really exciting during the crucial period. Watching the A girls hugging each other in joy after they won the deciding doubles really touched me. It's like watching pure joy on their faces. Too bad for A boys though, but seriously, it's not easy being the last singles and playing the fifth and deciding set. Oh well =\

Almost didn't recognize the "mall" at Toa Payoh until I actually looked at the structure. Haven't been there for almost five years - since P6 December holidays. Very big difference - cause we always reach there early in the morning so it was quite empty. Couldn't find the centre we used to go to =\ But oh well, reminds me of taking the then-newly-opened NEL(actually all the lines) just to pass time xD

Crap forgot what I wanted to blog already. Somehow my train of thought got lost after coming out of that time tunnel =X School has been mundane lately, although going out for dinner is fun(and funny) xD After today, back to eating at home and saving money liao >.>

Okay time to stop since I will be crapping nonsense for the sake of lengthening my post >.<

"The deceitful man will never find the courage to trust a person completely." - Unknown

Bypassing security without them noticing.
Finding the teachers who still know me.
Walking past teachers who don't even question my presence.
Running away from security guard who finally notices me.

Going to school can be so thrilling sometimes xD

Met a very familiar face today. Extremely coincidental. Well perhaps the chances of meeting increased since I was near her house >.> But how many years has it been, 3?

And my P4 school bus driver still recognizes me =DDD

The sky sheds its tears as the heart withers away.

Was at Starbuck's after school (sorry to Mrs Tan for ponning your lesson, and Wushu for not supporting on this final day) Whether it's a coincidence or not, the only table available was that particular one. Sometimes, I wonder if this is fate, or just God's way of toying with me, making me eat my words of last time.

It's incredible how many times a person can change his decision over a span of 11 days. Mr Teo told me that I have 3 routes to choose from, and since then, I have been waging wars with myself over the choice to make. However, I have sworn not to take the third route, because it shows that I have really given up on myself. I want to prove to myself that I have changed. However, it seemed to me now that I was using this excuse as a facade, as I pray for a miracle to happen. But miracles don't occur that easily, do they?

"The greatest tragedy is the tragedy of the man who never in his life braces himself for his one supreme effort." If that is the case, then my life is full of tragedies, because I'm too afraid of failure. Hence, I don't think I ever really made that effort to do what I truly want. I've tried to convince myself to forego all fears, and give it my all, but as the signs starts to appear that I'm staring at defeat in its face, I become a regular coward.By taking this route, I guess I'm adding another tragedy to my life, as I once again reveal my true sel. Even now, I pray for a glimmer of light but I'm too sunken in darkness to see it. It's all false hope.
Guess I'll forever be the quiet one sitting in a corner, observing everything.

And to my dear confidante, it goes against my principles to break promises, but this may be one I cannot keep.

I haven't finish even finished chapter 6 of Maths, GP n Econs not done. Wanna blog, but can't blog =P

It's actually 13 April liao, but I just changed the date so I can say HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOUIS! without being late xD

Played basketball for the first time in about 2 months =X It's only now that I realize how much I miss playing it. Same with all other sports, you get to forget all your worries and just enjoy life as it is. Crapped with Ming Wei about random stuff for quite a while after the game. It's surprising how much there is to talk about, considering I was never that close to him before, and the only two things which are related between us is ProEd and basketball >.> Oh yeah, I forgot that he's an ex-tracker too xD But seriously, being a guy of few words, it's really no easy feat to crap for half an hour non-stop =X

Oh yeah, emo is definitely over-used. When has stoning become part of emo-ing? >.>

8 hours of sleep on a school day rocks xD Damn I should do this more often =D

In these 2 days I've met practically everyone whom I don't want to meet, even though I know it is inevitable. Yesterday, during Wushu competition, I met my previous coach and friends. It was awkward, because I don't know how to react =\ Then today, I saw the track coaches (managed to avoid some though) =P Somehow, I feel that I owe them something - the result of all all the effort they have put into nurturing me. But I can no longer look back, and when I do, it's to remind myself of what I have decided to give up and why the present is so important.

I'm quite pleased with my result for today, and I'd be disappointed if I was any better - because it will disprove my belief that diligence is what counts the most.

"You are who you think you are". A quote which sounds more profound is "I think, therefore I am". It's quite a no-brainer to understand what it means, yet how many are able to grasp and make use of this principle? Nevertheless, I'll wake up from this fake tranquility and face the battle. After all, I made a promise, right? ;) No matter what, I'll find a way.

Whee 9am right now and I'm blogging ^^ Well, it's more of because I cannot go back to sleep. Weird dreams >.< Actually there's nothing much to blog besides random stuff =X Totally wasted my Saturday yesterday, did nothing but stone. Well, I was finishing up book 1 of Frankenstein by Dean Koontz but my sis brought book 2 to school with her =( Then spent the rest of the time doing random stuff and watching code geass until I almost fell asleep even though it's damn nice =\ Shucks I haven't had so much time in my hands since the start of the year =\ I remember there's nothing I wish more than for my off day to come quickly when I was working =X Different circumstances, different wishes.

They say when you dream, it's actually a manifestation of your deepest thoughts, but I don't exactly agree, since there are random dreams, unless someone wanna help me interpret them ^^

Oh yeah, the macbook finally left my house last night =( Somehow, I still continue to have a feeling that more than 3/4 of my bro's friends are gals =X

Is it a sin not to perform the best of our capabilities? By the way, this is not a follow-up of GP lesson =P But nevertheless, more than once have I heard someone telling me "I have the ability to excel in -inserts sport here-". I'm not trying to be ego here, but I remember David Yeo telling me that I have the potential to do well in pole vault. When I first joined, not really a choice I made, I told myself "Dince I'm already here, I must as well try my best". However, that's probably a naive way of thinking. To continually do your best in something, you need the motivation and determination. But to achieve any of that, you need to at least have the interest to do it. Unfortunately, my interest in pole vault waned after a while. Now, in Wushu, can I do my best until the time to hand over next year? I really hope so.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I really like what Mr Edmund Teo said during our short correspondence - " There are no stupid decisions, only decisions that need to be made in order to move on with life." It's pretty sad to know that another wonderful teacher has left the school. Somehow, there must be something wrong with HCI, since all the good teachers leave while the lousy ones stay =\

When you're moody, or feeling troubled, sometimes sleeping can solve the problem. Waking up, forget all your troubles of yesterday, and just look forward to the coming day. Too bad, some problems just don't go away even after you fall asleep.