Blogging right now to stop myself from playing games =X I was damn enthu to work on my schoolwork on the bus, but I've barely stopped myself when I switched on the computer >.<

Yesterday's table-tennis match was kinda boring, especially when we got totally owned =\ A lot of people said that our table tennis sucks ( after watching the match), but how poor can a team be if they have won a Olympics Silver, and we have World Seed no. 6 & 7 in our team? Let's get the facts right - the Singapore team isn't lousy, China is just too good. If we consider Hong Kong as part of China, then the top 10 seeds are all China natives, with the top 5 representing China.

On another note, I like how journalists make use of words to make people think differently, like saying Singapore couldn't overtake the "Juggernaut" China. Meanwhile, the article next to it says China's Lin Dan "outclasses" Msia's Lim Chong Wei. If only my command of English is that good, then my GP grade will probably be much higher =\ Of course, Lin Dan owned Lim Chong Wei, but it's much more enjoyable to watch him perform when the opponent isn't us xD

Okie, time to take a nap before working on PW and other stuff. Blah, there's so much stuff I wanna do after promos - Guitar, piano, basketball, rollerblade and hell lot of other sports. 6 more weeks, gotta endure >.< Of course, my idea of endurance is probably different from yours =P

Currently locked outside my room due to some... unfortunate circumstances. Thus, I shall BLOG! o.O

Can't believe how long it has been since I've last updated, discounting the last post. Let's just be truthful - I'm just too lazy =P

"Please make good use of the long weekend to do your revision. Jia you!" - guess who sent me this? Anyway, to at least accomplish part of that wish somehow, I decided to go bring my physics and maths stuff to the library and do whatever I can. Hence, by the time I was chased out of the library, I managed to complete...

reading Dragons of Lost Star -.- Okay, that's a lie - I finished it after reaching home =\ Quite a relief for me to finish it since I could only read a few pages a day ever since school started and 2) The book isn't mine =\ What's more, there's still the third book!!! And yeah, it's in my possession since June Hols >.<

Quite a lot of stuff happened during the last few weeks, none of which I can remember =X I feel sad not going rollerblading this week even though I could, since I haven't had the time in the past few weeks. Well, if I had disciplined myself not to slack so much, I'm likely to have more time in my hands.

But that's pretty much the problem - Kinda unmotivated to do any work lately ( lately in the sense of past few weeks, not days) Despite Meiling completing the board game, despite me getting less work to do than before, despite my mentor constantly pestering me for updates, I couldn't do anything. And the "despite"s include enlightenment on how to do Econs essay, as well as greater understanding of Thermodynamics, or whatever crap revision lectures or remedials I've been through, I. Just. Can't. Do. Anything.

Someone, please wake me up. Kick me in the butt. Pour water over me. Throw me into the sea. Just do something to wake me up. Then a wise man will come up and say "nobody can force you to do anything, you have to do it yourself" and I'll say "Go to Hell".

Not exactly the type of post I wanted to break the hiatus with. There's lots of stuff I wanted to say but well, I ended up... can't say "let of some steam". Someone might think I'm suffering from pressure, but no - I'm just angry with myself because I can't feel the pressure around me, the kind that pushes myself to work hard.

Oh yeah, final note, I can't believe I forgot about the deadline for application of OB Korea >.> And... I'm still stuck outside my room.

Haven't blogged lately. I surprise myself by saying that I have been too busy to blog (well at least for these few days) Shall update really soon ^^ Now, I'm gonna get my 4 hours of sleep >.<

Back from my renewed obsession - rollerblading =]

Well, I was back some time ago, but anyway met some really cool guys today who gave really helpful tips. Some new stuff I learnt - if you wanna continue practicing throughout the day, wear guards. Secondly, wear long pants - attempting tricks gives your legs free waxing =X Everyone is free to join me on Sat and Sundays =]

Anyway, some highlights - Inspire concert was frigging imba. Especially Stella Story - a rock band. The vocalist has an imba voice, the lead guitarist blazed through his soloes and the drummer who was well... you can't count fast enough to keep up with his beats =\ Unfortunately, it's hard for a seated audience to go crazy, so they really didn't deserve this sort of crowd =( Other favourites were the MAD bboys( a few screw ups tho =X) and funk faction crew =]

And lastly, muay thai was fun =)

It has been 1 month + 2 days since I've last blogged. Wanted to make it exactly 1 month but today is more special. It's KT Tunstall's birthday, Zidane's birthday, Woon Pin's birthday and Jason Mraz's birthday. Well, happy birthday to my brother( only one of them is, even though I don't mind having all of them as my siblings ^^)

I wanna blog more, but coincidentally, today is also the start of Blocks, so goodnight.

Arts Fest yesterday was pretty good. Best performance goes to choir even though not the whole choir was present xD I'd rather they sing Lullaby instead though =P Guitar was pretty bad though, with only the J1s performing >.> No comments for the others =X Unfortunately, the whole performance was plagued by poor concert behaviour, so you cannot really 'enjoy' the performances =\

Rollerblading for GEMS just rekindled my interest for the sport =]

死神的秘密 is definitely worth the ticket's price ^^ Very touching near the ending and quite a meaningful movie. About a Shinigami who was sent to judge 3 people - A 28 years old lady, a Yakuza( Japanese mafia) and a 70 year old hairdresser, as to whether they have fulfilled their purpose in life and be allowed to die. I guess what the producer wanted to convey is that no matter how dark your life may be right now, continue living and you just might be able to see that sunny blue sky.

I wonder what it means to toe the line, living your life to the fullest. Does it mean enjoying life as if there's no tomorrow? Then, what will you do if today is the last day of your life? As for me, I don't know =\

Bleah 4 days of rest and I didn't get any work done >.> Shall do my best to smoke through this week =X

"Throwing away the people important to you, saying that you don't want to fight."

Just finished watching the whole Honey & Clover series, including season II. The pent up emotions makes me wanna play the piano, but *looks at the time* I guess not.

Are you willing to forsake everything for love? In this time and day, where rationalism is the core of today's society, many will answer no. Who knows how long this love can last? And what are you going to do, when it ends, and you find yourself broken in bits and pieces? Nevertheless, people still chase after it, seeking for that happiness, while maintaining their decision not to give their all.

"When the stem of a plant breaks, you need to cut it off for new shoots to grow. But somehow, it's hard to do so, seeing the leaves of the broken stem still so green and healthy."

I'm gonna get my 2nd scar on my left arm soon >.> Well at least this time there's no need to go see the doc(or at least we think so) and just let it heal. The chalet was... I dunno what to say =\ Eh first time I had a bbq without having to go the toilet =P Mr Wu is damn pro xD

Yesterday was the 100th day of my uncle's death. Fell asleep standing while reciting the scriptures >.> Can't help it, 3 hours of sleep on the floor really isn't enough =\ There was a memorial for him in the afternoon by Singapore Art Museum. The speeches were boring, but I almost teared when people were speaking of their experiences with him. Well, I tear easily these days, but it was really touching. Shake! at night was quite good, but I think last year's Mosaic was better, probably because it was the year end concert =\

Today was quite simple - sleep, eat, watch H&C, surf the internet. Exciting, is it not?

"Get too close to the Sun and you'll only burn yourself." - Fullmetal Alchemist

There's many interpretations to this quote, but I guess most of them are quite true. For example, there are some things that just shouldn't be known, since it will bring nothing but harm. That's why there are such things known as secrets.

Sometimes when you think you're reflecting on past events, some important stuff just seem to slip off your mind. If one has remembered those stuff, will he still make the same decision? Of course, as 旁观者，we may say yes. But have we factored in the psychological distress that person was facing at that time? Under those conditions, can one still make a rationale decision?

"Can't seem to make myself nervous about tomorrow's Physics test. Without this sense of anxiety, it's quite hard to concentrate on studying =\"

Actually the above is written when I just started writing this post ^^ Feel more.... serious now but..... I wanna watch Honey and Clover again after listening to its OST >.< Blah =\

Haven't listened to Stephen Lynch for years liao >.> Brings back memories siah xD

But anyway, I FINALLY started working on my H3 project, 11 days after meeting the mentor >.> Really need to be more proactive into this, since no one will be pestering me to work on it =\ Talking about projects, my group's GPP is now GGP - GG Proposal >.>

My left speaker isn't working, or to be more precise, it's the system which isn't working. Feels weird listening from one side only =(

I suddenly have a new interesting perspective to "Technology leading to ease of communication" xD

Anyway, Voices in Flight was really great. Favourite songs are "A Basque Lullaby", followed by "故乡之恋" then "Japanese Game". Of course, the other songs are great too but these three really stood out from the rest. What can I say? Our school choir is just frigging imba >.> For those who didn't buy the extra tickets from Louis, you guys are really gonna regret not attending =X I feel like going to the Sunday performance too, just for those 3 songs =D Of course, I meant feel like going, doesn't mean my wallet can take it >.>

I believe that how you think about yourself really matters. If you don't believe in yourself, then there's no way you can change. To start trusting others, you need to trust yourself first. Of course, for me, I don't bother thinking what I am anyway, so this is pretty much pointless =D

It's frigging 1.30am now. What am I doing staying up until so late, when I still haven't manage to sleep before 11pm for this week >.<

P.S despite what I said about the choir concert, Yi Kun still managed to sleep halfway through the it =X

The days are long, but the months are short.

We cannot wait for school to end everyday, but in a blink of the eye, it's already week 8. What can I say? If you're not enjoying life to the fullest extent, then you're not doing yourself justice. At first I thought I was, and probably did, but somehow I've been dumped back into this dull routine. Nevertheless, it's never too late, but the problem lies in what you consider enjoyable =\ Seriously, I don't know myself >.<

Time to start on my computing homework ^^ 3rd day of the week, and I haven't succeed in my aim to sleep before 11pm yet >.>

Cleaning the air-con alone is really different from being guided by my father.

Lesson learnt - Never do a half-assed job in clearing the dust.

Spent as much time cleaning my room as cleaning the air con -.-

Oh well, what better way to learn than experiencing it first hand? ^^

Doing the mentioned above left me with a lot less time to work on what I planned. Actually, I never follow my plans but this is a good REASON right? Domestic > Academic =D Oh ya, not mentioning wasting time to make this pointless post ._. Target - To sleep before 11pm today =D

Seems like I have a knack in not going school on Fridays xD

So.. What can I say about Wednesday?

Getting a gold medal is definitely different from silver and bronze =D My 2nd Gold since sec 1, and 5th out of 16 medals in my whole "track career" =X Of course, my top favourite is the bronze for C boys 4x100m nationals in sec 2, followed by silver and bronze for 4x100m in p5 and p6 nationals *I'm boasting, don't mind me xD*

But seriously, I'm pretty happy with myself over the results, even though it's Jun Lin, Yi Kai and Yu Wei who really secured the win. I was slightly faster than Bryan(to my surprise), but I wished that Timothy could have ran - to gauge my improvement. Part of me wants to go back to track, but realistically, I won't even be able to catch up with the B boys, much less than A boys. Oh well >.>

Went to TWO polyclinics this morning, but the waiting time is just too gay - frigging 3 hours -.- Gave up and came back home. Maybe going to try again later, else I'll be slapped with 4 demerit points for absence without reason >.<

Blah, preparing to fail definitions for computing test tomorrow >.>

*looks at post below*

Seems like I still can't remove this invisible barrier around me.

Can't remember who was the one who said that I'll be making a long post after today. Unfortunately, this is going to be quite short.

I can't remember the exact phrasing - but the quote goes something like Life is too short for you to have two of them. Well yeah, I'm kind of bored with this facade. This should be relevant to quite a lot of my current "readers" - Sorry to disappoint, but the Woon Yang you know of, never existed.

Or maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and forget all about this >.>

I'm surprised with myself today. Stayed awake and PAID ATTENTION during all lectures(yes, I'm surprised too), went for self training during my break and Wushu after school. Yes, and this is despite someone keeping me awake 45min more than I wanted to *hem hem*

Had a realisation during self-training today. The purpose of me training is mainly to improve myself. Yes - the prospect of getting that gold medal is alluring, but no - I don't want to burden the team. I'm the weakest link in the team, but as I've told forgot-who, my standard now is at the bottom of the graph. So there's no room for deterioration, only improvement. So despite not wearing spikes and having a training partner, what I did today can only make me improve. "The only thing which cannot fail you is diligence." - Not sure where I heard it from, or whether I thought it out myself >.>

But basically, all trainings are the same, isn't it? The true objective is to improve oneself - winning trophies and medals are only bonuses. But anyway, the above paragraph is actually for self-inspiration =P

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Everyday seems to pass slowly, but looking back, it's already the 6th week of the term. Kinda makes you think, "What have I been doing all this time?" Well, this feeling comes once in a while, so I guess today is that once. I guess achievements don't come in an instant, but still =\ Ironically, despite aiming for that H3 distinction, Wushu medal, CSM medal, I still don't know what I really want. There's something intangible out there that I want to achieve, but I still have no idea what it is >.>

Table tennis finals today. Didn't know that JC table tennis so pro =X Quite sian at some parts, but really exciting during the crucial period. Watching the A girls hugging each other in joy after they won the deciding doubles really touched me. It's like watching pure joy on their faces. Too bad for A boys though, but seriously, it's not easy being the last singles and playing the fifth and deciding set. Oh well =\

Almost didn't recognize the "mall" at Toa Payoh until I actually looked at the structure. Haven't been there for almost five years - since P6 December holidays. Very big difference - cause we always reach there early in the morning so it was quite empty. Couldn't find the centre we used to go to =\ But oh well, reminds me of taking the then-newly-opened NEL(actually all the lines) just to pass time xD

Crap forgot what I wanted to blog already. Somehow my train of thought got lost after coming out of that time tunnel =X School has been mundane lately, although going out for dinner is fun(and funny) xD After today, back to eating at home and saving money liao >.>

Okay time to stop since I will be crapping nonsense for the sake of lengthening my post >.<

"The deceitful man will never find the courage to trust a person completely." - Unknown

Bypassing security without them noticing.
Finding the teachers who still know me.
Walking past teachers who don't even question my presence.
Running away from security guard who finally notices me.

Going to school can be so thrilling sometimes xD

Met a very familiar face today. Extremely coincidental. Well perhaps the chances of meeting increased since I was near her house >.> But how many years has it been, 3?

And my P4 school bus driver still recognizes me =DDD

The sky sheds its tears as the heart withers away.

Was at Starbuck's after school (sorry to Mrs Tan for ponning your lesson, and Wushu for not supporting on this final day) Whether it's a coincidence or not, the only table available was that particular one. Sometimes, I wonder if this is fate, or just God's way of toying with me, making me eat my words of last time.

It's incredible how many times a person can change his decision over a span of 11 days. Mr Teo told me that I have 3 routes to choose from, and since then, I have been waging wars with myself over the choice to make. However, I have sworn not to take the third route, because it shows that I have really given up on myself. I want to prove to myself that I have changed. However, it seemed to me now that I was using this excuse as a facade, as I pray for a miracle to happen. But miracles don't occur that easily, do they?

"The greatest tragedy is the tragedy of the man who never in his life braces himself for his one supreme effort." If that is the case, then my life is full of tragedies, because I'm too afraid of failure. Hence, I don't think I ever really made that effort to do what I truly want. I've tried to convince myself to forego all fears, and give it my all, but as the signs starts to appear that I'm staring at defeat in its face, I become a regular coward.By taking this route, I guess I'm adding another tragedy to my life, as I once again reveal my true sel. Even now, I pray for a glimmer of light but I'm too sunken in darkness to see it. It's all false hope.
Guess I'll forever be the quiet one sitting in a corner, observing everything.

And to my dear confidante, it goes against my principles to break promises, but this may be one I cannot keep.